Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
