There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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