Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
