..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
