Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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