Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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