how can u be prego again
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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