I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
