you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize