I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
