I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He better not be in your backpack
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
