chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize