I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
