Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
