Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
