i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
