No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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