i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You smell like stripper and shame
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize