Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
