your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
