You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize