Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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