I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize