what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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