I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You are the jesus of drinking
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
