There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
