The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
