I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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