I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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