So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
