So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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