K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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