Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Randomize
