haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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