i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
