I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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