A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
