wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Your dad touched me again.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
