His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
