Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
