She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
