Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
