is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
