how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize