now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
