I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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