I think I just saw someone hide a body.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize