Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
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