you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
