Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he thought i was a dude.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
