if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
