4 words: hood of his car
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
