at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
