Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
