I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
